Five Best Oscar Moments
1. Danny Boyle bounces up and down on stage before giving his acceptance speech for Best Director, fulfilling a years-ago promise to his children that, if he ever won, he would accept his Oscar in the spirit of Tigger.
2. Philippe Petit, daredevil and subject of Best Documentary winner Man on Wire, makes a coin disappear and then balances the Oscar statuette on his chin.
3. Tina Fey and Steve Martin banter about the Scientology-esque religion they made up. How about getting both of them to host next year?
4. The camera, lingering on Mickey Rourke in the audience while someone on stage praises him, creates this weird frame where it looks like Robert Pattinson is hovering over one shoulder and Tina Fey is hovering over the other. Angel and devil. Or devil and angel. It depends on whether Rourke is being tempted by deer-blood or Cheetos.
5. Half of the cast of Slumdog Millionaire (including Irrfan Khan!) goes up to accept the film’s Best Picture award.
Five Worst Oscar Moments
1. Anything involving past winners speaking to present nominees.
2. The orchestra plays the same generic music, no matter which film wins. Seriously, did they get the orchestra off Craigslist? I want to hear the movie themes!
3. Sean Penn uses his acceptance speech as an opportunity to lecture the audience about Prop 8. While I might actually agree with a lot of what he said (hate is bad), does he really think that someone is going to become more loving just because Sean Penn said “shame on you”?
4. Half the names during the Dead People Montage are illegible because the camera keeps swooping around, preventing the usual “Oh, him? I thought he already died years ago” surprise.
5. Hugh Jackman’s opening song-and-dance number is desperately in need of humor. (On the plus side, we discover that Anne Hathaway can actually sing!)
Carissa Turner Smith is a compulsive reader, writer, and Irish dancer. She earned her Ph.D. in English at Penn State and currently teaches writing and American literature at Charleston Southern University. At age three, she announced that all she wanted to do was “sit at a desk and read and write,” and she has been trying to make good on that promise ever since. Fortunately, she is occasionally distracted from this mission by her husband Stephen and their cheese-obsessed cat. A loyal native of Arkansas, she has always loved the fact that Jesus dwelt in an underappreciated corner of Galilee (see John 1:46). 
